Category: Things I Read

Good Enough for Madonna, Good Enough for Elton.

Hey, if Madonna can go to some small African nation and adopt a baby or two, why should Elton John be shut out? Sure, he is on record saying that being 62 and traveling a lot wouldn’t make for a great dad, but heck, Madonna is in her 50’s and travels a lot – What’s the difference?

Ellen DeGeneres replaces Paula Abdul! Holy SH&#!

In the “I didn’t see this one coming” department, it is being reported that Ellen DeGeneres, yes, Ellen who dances around her studio audience to start her show, will be taking over the seat on American Idol that Paula Abdul vacated via a twitter tweet. I believe the nutso factor will now be gone, but at least we know there will still be a dancing judge.

Oprah Takes Over Chicago!

Oprah somehow has the power to make men jump on couches, vault an obscure acai berry to being newsworthy, and close a major road in Chicago, but if you want to see her Chicago show you might just want to wait for it to be on TV because that’s what you’ll be watching even if you are on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. And at least at home you can bring your gun.

Matt Damon says Eating Food is Fun. Duh.

He gained 30 pounds for his role in the movie “The Informant,” and in doing so Matt Damon admitted that eating food and not going to the gym was fun. Welcome to the rest of the world, Matt!

You Can Be a Beatle, Sort of…

The Beatles: Rock Band is finally coming out, and you to can be your favorite Beatle, if he played a plastic instrument with colored keys and no strings. Pretty much the word on the street is that if you are a Beatles’ person and a Rock Band fan, you will like the game and might want to spend the bucks for the “Beatles” looking plastic instruments, because hey, you know you’re gonna blow your wad on the “newly remastered” music coming out anyway.

15 Fat Men Attacking Twitter?

I wore deodorant today. I wanted to tweet that, but I can’t because Twitter is down due to a Denial of Service, a.k.a., a DOS attack. I also can’t tweet that I’m going to eat leftover roast for lunch because I’m certain all of my followers want to know. In any case, I love the analogy that a DOS attack is like 15 fat men trying to get through a revolving door at the same time. Twitter, watch out for the fat men!

Pretty Much No One Went to see “Funny People”

“Funny People,” the Judd Apatow movie with Adam Sandler, didn’t do too well at the movie this weekend, taking in short of $25 million. That might be a lot of money to you and me, but to the movie folks it stinks. I didn’t see it, either, mostly because it’s a gorgeous Sunday and I didn’t want to spend 3 hours in a theater for a movie that might be 1 1/2 hours of funny, 1 hour of sad, and 1/2 hour of trailers and popcorn eating.

No More Cash, You Just Have a Clunker

I knew I should have bought a new car yesterday. Looks like the Cash for Clunkers program is running out of cash. I wonder if President Obama might have been crying in his beer tonight when he found out he couldn’t get $4,500 now for his limo.

Mark Buehrle – Mr. Perfect

I hope even Chicago Cubs fans can appreciate a White Sock, or at least the performance of Mark Buehrle, a pitcher for the Chicago White Sox, because it’s not every day someone pitches a perfect game. It’s a good day for baseball!

The Cheerleader Might get Naked!

She hasn’t showed her boobies yet, and she’s not being a total prude about it like a Jessica Alba, but Hayden Panettiere hasn’t ruled out nudity on the big screen totally, only it might take until she’s 30. Looks like we have to start an 11 year countdown, or at least until a few years after “Heroes” is over.